It's funny how messed up families can get around weddings and funerals. My mom's funeral was a huge mess and afterwards I rarely spoke to my mother's family (that was ten years ago). Now, my brother is getting married and the same issues appear to apply. People upset that they don't know what's going on and somehow I feel like I'm in the middle, again. I'm well aware that I do that to myself (and when I don't realize it, Lisa is there to remind me).
Unfortunately, my brother is a guy and therefore not always forthcoming with details, or whatever. So, the family comes to me with their questions. Jason and I are not on the best of terms so I really don't know anything about his wedding and what is happening (the fact that I didn't even get an invitation does not help how I feel, even though I do believe it was my crappy mailman to blame for that one). So, it hurts when everyone asks me details because they expect that I will know and probably a year ago I would have. But, I don't. I don't know where people are supposed to stay, I don't know when stuff is happening. All I know is that I will be leaving Saturday night for my vacation with my friends and I can't wait. I wish I was more excited about this wedding. For years I couldn't wait until my brother got married, but now I can't wait until I get on that plane. I know I will regret that I am not more excited and I'm certainly sad that I'm not more involved (especially since most of you know how much I love weddings and helping in the planning), next to my own wedding (someday, I hope) this was the one that I was most excited about.
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